well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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