Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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