dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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