Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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