Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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