THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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