You're my little dorito
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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