from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize