who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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