Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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