Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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