Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize