it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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