She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize