If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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