he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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