Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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