i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
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I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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