you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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