Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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