I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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