I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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