Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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