took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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