just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize