thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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