I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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