i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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