the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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I threw up into my coffee this morning.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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