The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize