It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
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Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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