so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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