I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize