I wish I only lived at night.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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