the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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