Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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