I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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