RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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