he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize