Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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