everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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