Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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