God, you're like boner-b-gone
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
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wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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