Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize