my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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