Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize