Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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