Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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