i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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