I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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