I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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